Thursday, March 25, 2010

"Help from Houston?" Part 1

By the time my son's first birthday rolled around, I had made significant improvement, but was still experiencing ups and downs that were beyond the level of normal. I had weaned down to just occasional anxiety meds, and was off of all the anti-depressants, but something was just not right, and I kept thinking it must be my hormones. I was not myself, and had noticed a pattern of having a harder time when I was due for a period, and was still not regular. But I had already tried to talk to my gynecologist about that months before, and he just gave me a B.C. prescription which only made me more frustrated! (I was having trouble getting my period back, and he gave me the kind of pill that causes your periods to lessen! He didn't even check my hormone levels, and his nurse acted like I was an idiot in the first place. I voiced a complaint about her and do not plan to return to that office.) Not to mention I was still lactating, too. Something was out of balance and I could feel it. It was like PMS symptoms times ten! Finally, through God's providence, I met someone who heard part of my story and directed me to the website of her good friend's daughter, who had "gone through the same thing." I had heard from several women who had gone through a hard time postpartum, but had never met anyone who's struggle was a true "match" to mine. The closest thing I had heard about was the highly publicized PPD battle of actress/model, Brook Shields, but there were still a lot of differences. I thought I would give it a shot and visit the blog of Sharee Morris, a Texas wife and mom who had gone to extreme measures to get her life back after a year of searching for help before finding an answer. I could not believe what I was reading! At that point it had been a year for me too, (By the time she wrote her blog, it had been another year for her since that first horrible year of her daughter's life and she was on the other side of it.) and I had all but lost hope of a full recovery. I was crossing my fingers that God was shining some new light at the end of a dark tunnel. I was desperate and had been praying for God to make me whole, not just "better." Not just "healing" but complete restoration.*
I e-mailed Sharee right away, and within a day or two, we were talking back and forth on the phone, and I was grateful to have found a friend who truly understood me! That in itself was a breath of fresh air. She was so gracious and supportive, and was willing to do anything in her power to help me find a solution. I followed her blog daily, we kept in touch and I got the information for her doctor, an Endocrinologist who was based in Houston. I e-mailed my story/postpartum medical background to the doc, and spoke with his nurse over the phone about the possibility of coming for some visits. I had tried everything else, I had done all I knew to do. Would I find help in Texas? Would this Doctor have the answer? We penciled in some dates and awaited further contact from his office. I would be able to stay at my new friend's house if I went, and someone had already offered to help pay my way! Little did I know, God had an unexpected "detour" just ahead for me, but it was all connected. Help was closer than I thought...

*The very day I met Gwen Diaz, the bible teacher who directed me to Sharee, Gwen had spoken on this very timely truth! Something I had just been praying about, right down to the very example-story she used to base her lesson on. Found in Mark 5:24-34, it was about the "untouchable woman who touched Jesus." I am so glad I went up to her after that bible study and introduced myself and thanked her for speaking right to my situation. That teaching, our conversation, her connecting me with a friend from another state: coincidence? Not at all. I was getting closer and closer to "Touching Jesus," just like the woman in the bible.